How to Pick up a Cougar or Older Female

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(This article was written by a 26 year old friend of mine who has dated older women in the past. I asked him to give a few tips to the younger guys who like to date older women. This is more of a stream of conscious thought than it is an actual guide. The article assumes that you have all the requirements needed to get your proverbial foot in the door with an older female: Decent job, decent looks, decent dress, decent social skills. -K)

Just a few thoughts on how younger guys can pick up older women (Cougars):

First off, a cougar is not something that is mysterious like a unicorn or leprechaun. Talking to a cougar is just like talking to any other female, with a little more confidence and maturity built in. I once was at a party, talking to many different types of women but one that really caught my eye was this older lady who was with a group of other people around her age. I had no intentions of dating an older woman. So the next time I went out, I made sure that I was dressed appropriately. This is important when trying to pick up a cougar. You have to dress nicely. This doesn’t mean wearing a tux and tails, but nice jeans/pant and a clean trendy top and get this… showered! Don’t go out wearing a hat, oversize sweatshirt and jeans with pictures of naked women on the pockets and expect to pick up a sophisticated older woman.

After your dressed nicely, smelling clean and ready to go, make sure your going to the right watering hole for the cougars. You wouldn’t go to the beach to hunt for elephants right? Likewise with cougars, don’t go to the local sports bar or over 18 club and plan on hooking an older lady. Find out where these women congregate. I have found that cougars like wine bars, martini lounges, various social gatherings and places that have a dress code of some sort and are a little more upscale. Selection of the place is essential if you want to date an older woman.

Your next step is to know how to spot cougars and what to do to bring them in. You will usually see a group of 3 to 5 of them out together. Now at least 2 of the women are married, one is going through a divorce and the other either single for life or not dating men for whatever reason. Your best bet is with the one that is out looking or going through a divorce and wants to stick it to her ex and show him that she still has it by dating a younger man. First thing is to look at the hand to see whose married. This will eliminate those really quickly. Then its onto getting a drink. Cougars don’t drink beer or some mixture of 6 different alcohols. You have to know how to order and drink martinis, wine and other high class beverages. Learn to enjoy dirty martinis, a good glass of pinot noir or a gimlet. It shows her you know a thing or two and makes you look a bit more sophisticated than the next guy.

Lastly, when your start talking to the women, don’t act your age. She doesn’t want to hear how you beat Halo 3 in one day or the latest on the NFL draft. Shes not one of your buddies your hanging out with. She’s an older female and your only goal is to get her phone number/etc. Know music 10 to 20 years before you were born. Make your job sounds like you’re the CEO. Have confidence in yourself. Be witty, not cocky. Pick up on something she might say and roll with it. Pay her a compliment. Remember, she probably been with the same man for 20 years and hasn’t heard how nice she looks in ages.